Where is Kelso?

Moving on...

2007-03-23T11:43:00.000Z

Alftavatn (Swan Lake), southern Icelandic higlands

Your man, Kelso, is leaving town for a couple of months. It is amazing how much crap needs to be sorted, how much excess stuff i have accumulated during the last couple of years here.

And i now appear to own two cars. How did that happen? Somehow, i purchased a ridiculous Landcruiser the other week. The most un-ecologically sound vehicle i can imagine. The only way i can deal with this, is by promising myself to convert it to veggie oil fuel as soon as i have the cash.

Which has left me totally skint and needing to sell my old piece of Russian motoring art, The Lada Sport, bloody fast. I have discovered that this is a car only desired by farmers living in the middle of nowhere. I have spoken with loads of them this week. I say 'spoken', but, as hardly any of them speak english and my icelandic, although a little improved, is not exactly up to car-sales patter, i have had to enlist the help of a couple of mates. It turns out that quite a few of them just want to have a bit of a chat about the old Lada they owned in the 70's. Or they want to swap their current old piece of crap for mine.

I'm relocating to a valley a couple of hours north of Reykjavik, to work on a farm, growing vegetables, building greenhouses and worrying sheep and horses. And i'm moving with my lover...

Mmmm. Sounds strange, still. It all happened very fast. But, then, life is there for the living. She's an amazing, strong, funny, beautiful girl. And she gives this old man loads of shit. Which is what he needs. But don't tell her any of this...

And, importantly, we are two of the most cynical people we know, so we have few expectations for the future. But we seem to have rather a lot of fun together. This is a 2 month thing, then we both head off to work in the highlands. Then? Who knows? We'll have to wait and see...

Destruction...

2007-03-05T00:17:00.000Z

The following rant gives information about the imminent destruction of vast areas of Iceland's highland and coastal wilderness habitats. For more detailed (and coherent) information, visit Saving Iceland

In the last 20 or 30 years, Iceland has been dragged well and truly in to the First World, based on GDP at least. Fish have provided the wealth. People up here are rich now, when compared to most other countries.

But, in common with the rest of the world, they want to be richer. So, will this government use the creative minds of one of the planet's best educated populations to achieve this aim? Of course not. The Powers That Be, have decided to ruin Europe's last and greatest wilderness area with a policy of heavy industrialisation. Government policy could have been to develop new and wonderful business concepts, create new, innovative seats of learning in some of the remoter areas, or take advantage of the potential world-leading technological thinking that is evident up here.

But no, the big plan is now to build several huge, massively polluting aluminium smelters in some of the most beautiful fjords you will ever see. And, worse than this, is the impact on the pristine highland areas from the enormous electricity generating projects needed to supply the vast quantities of required power. And the best thing is that Iceland doesn't even contain any bauxite (aluminium ore). It is shipped a long, long way to be smelted using the electricity virtually given away by this generous nation.

There are currently only a couple of (relatively) small smelters in operation here. However, another pretty bloody huge one is currently under construction in the southeast fjord of Raudafjordur (i'm not going to bother with the Icelandic letters here as i know not many browsers handle them well..). The associated hydro-electric plant, also well under way, is currently and very successfully, fucking up one of the most incredible, pure wilderness areas in this world. The Karahnjukar gorge was flooded last autumn, following construction of Europe's largest rockfill dam.

It has gone now.

The resulting lake is flooding about 57 square km of unique sub-glacial heathland. But the real beauty is that the resulting changes in river drainage and the anticipated dust-bowl created as the lake gradually silts-up and dries out, will actually seriously impact around 3000 square km. I'll provide links soon for those of you more interested in these facts.

And this is just one project. Several more are planned. I've seen proposals to dam all of Iceland's main glacial rivers, and build geothermal plants in all of the main volcanic areas. These are the most incredible places i've ever been to. To stand on a mountain and gaze upon a volcanic and glacial wilderness, resembling the creation of this earth and to look in all directions and not see any evidence of man, is the most profound experience i know. I've seen the effect this has on even the hardest of individuals.

There are so few genuine wilderness areas left in this world. Why ruin this place? Icelanders don't need the jobs. The vast majority of workers building these projects are from overseas - Italians, Portuguese, Chinese and many others - all imported for a great deal cheaper rate than if the contractors used the natives. And the smelters will probably be mostly manned by foreign workers also. Polish, more than likely.

I've gone on enough now. Check out Saving Iceland. My blood is boiling, so i'm going for a walk to cool down. But before i go, it is important for us all to remember, wherever we are living, that we are only borrowing this world. It is not ours. We share it with thousands of other species. And it's not too late to halt the destruction of our remaining wilderness areas. I'm actually stopping moaning about this now and am going in to action...

Changes...

2007-02-19T19:55:00.000Z

Yes, I know, your man has been a tad on the quiet side recently. This can be traced to several main factors (i believe that there is no ONE reason for anything - always a combination - but someone, of course, will prove me wrong, so bring it on...):

1. I've been working my nuts off, for a change, therefore, spare time is heavily prioritised; carnal pleasures, eating and sleeping taking top spots...

2. Internet access is difficult. My new abode still has no internet access and i work outside, so no access there...

3. Changes in personal and professional life seem to be affecting Kelso in stange ways...

4. The Six Nations rugby championship started the other week...

And other stuff, too complicated or seemingly irrelevant to list here.

I will not elaborate too much on these points. Life, for me, is changing fairly rapidly now. After much talk, i am finally getting my arse in to gear and starting my own guiding business. More about that in future blogs, no doubt. The guys at Volvo who invented the Lapplander truck, really should know how this vehicle's unreliability has affected my personal life recently... More on that, maybe, in the future.

But, for now, the one thing that i wish to bring to your attention, is the Destruction of the Icelandic highlands.

Bollocks! I have to get the hell out of the library now as its shutting. More, i hope, tomorrow.

Greetings...!

2007-02-09T17:37:00.000Z

Photo of the day from Kelso...

A friend introduced me to a guy the other day. He was Icelandic, but the introduction was in english (yes, i know - i should have insisted on using my new, polished icelandic greeting phrases, but i didn't, ok?!). I said 'How's it going?'.

To which he replied, 'A lot better than i deserve to be!', spoken with a particularly fine and utterly contagious smirk. I always enjoy meeting people like this. They ignore the standard 'Fine, thanks', or 'Very well thank you, and you?'. Oh no, they want to make a statement, challenge you - 'to hell with convention!'. Fantastic.

A few friends from my former life, back in england, have this gift also. My old mucker, Dirty Lou, usually barks, or moos or makes some other farmyard-animal noise. I have witnessed him do this to all sorts of people and it leaves some a tad confused.

Myself? Well, i generally reply to the standard 'How are you', with short remarks, such as 'Radiant!' or 'Beautiful, thank you'. Unless, of course, i am feeling like crap. In which case, i have no problem with informing my unfortunate greeter of the grizzly details... Or, if in a particularly mischievous mood, i'll come back with 'What are you - a copper?'. This can really put a stranger on the back foot...

Back to the Icelandic class. This is proving a very interesting, amusing, fulfilling experience. The giggle-ometer has been pushed to it's limits in the last couple of weeks, which is the best way to learn i think. And, of course, there are Bloggers to be found wherever you go these days...

You have already seen Laurent, the scary Frenchman. Well, check out his blog Laurent Jegu He is not as bad as he appears, and he has some great photos and is a bit of a film-maker on the quiet. His latest masterpiece involves a frozen lake and two Frenchmen...

Then there is Mario, the Spanish buffoon. We were talking to him last night, about his (not unattractive) Icelandic girlfriend. Laurent said 'Your girlfriend, she is very good looking!'

'But of course!', came the spaniard's unabashed response. Priceless. Anyway, check him out at Entre Vikingos / Between Vikings - click on the british flag if your spanish isn't up to it.

Anyway, thats enough from Kelso. The weather is bloody marvellous again. Cold and clear, blue daytime skies, starry, Northern Light nights...
And You? How are You doing?

Views from The North...

2007-02-06T18:39:00.000Z

A couple of photos for you, from a recent excursion to the southwest coast with Arna and Laurent. Do not be fooled by the first photo - they are actually quite similar in height. I'm sorry about the Frenchman - i've handed him over to the authorities, so he is no longer a danger to the public....

Kelso's Commandments...

2007-02-05T21:48:00.003Z

Two reasons for Your Man's lack of recent blogactivity; 1. A distinct lack of Internet connection at my new house (hurry home Asta and lets sort this please!!!??); 2. Kelso has actually been busy (shock-horror!!).

Anyway, here is something i've been working on for a while. Its good to get things in perspective, occasionally...

Kelso's Commandments. An evolving, randomly ordered, set of life rules ...

1. Refuse that plastic bag from the shop assistant, unless you desperately need it. In other words, always carry a backpack. Don't buy food, or other goods, that have been needlessly over-packaged. Where does all the crap go? In the ground, thats where.

2. Do not suffer fools gladly. If someone is being an idiot, tell them. Hopefully, they'll get the idea, and do something about it. At the very least, they'll bugger-off.

3. Smile. Lots. If possible. Not so much that you find others usher their children away from you. Enough to make yourself and others, feel good.

4. Spend some time in the (so called) 3rd World. See how people live. It will open your eyes, mind and heart. The values of cooperation, friendliness, openness, compassion are to found by the truckload. People still have the time for each other; for friends or for strangers.

5. Remember - nothing is ever as bad as you think it is going to be... Well, almost nothing... Very little, anyway.

6. Get out of town! Spend as much time as possible in the countryside. Traffic jams, pollution, overcrowding and air conditioning are bad for you. Fact. Space, fresh air, beautiful vistas and peace are good for you. Fact. Makes sense to me.

7. Never diet. Never weigh yourself. Exercise regularly and eat good food. You will be healthy, you will feel good and, therefore, look good. Unless you are a complete minger, But then, at least you will be a fit, healthy minger.

8. Listen to your instincts. Western societies place too much emphasis on 'acting as you are supposed to', or 'doing the right thing'. If it feels right for you, do it. This goes for your career choice, choosing a lover, accepting help from a stranger. Anything. Most of us have lost touch with our instincts. We are but animals and its time we realised this.

9. Recycle as much as possible. If we all do something now, the world may just be livable in the future. I believe that mass recycling is only possible with government enforcement. Until that time, it is up to environment-minded individuals and organisations to push ahead.

10. If you've got something to do, do it now! If you put it off until later, there's a 95% probability it will remain undone... I speak from bitter experience...

11. 'You get what you pay for', is one of those old sayings that rings true. Don't buy it just because its cheap. By settling for the cheaper alternative, you know that it will either break soon or not really do what you want it to do. Unless, of course, it was free...

12. Be Completely Honest. With yourself, with others close to you. This is a crucial ingredient for any deep relationship to grow in to something truly lasting. I am only now coming to terms with this concept.

These are a work in progress, as indeed, i am... Is there anything that you live by? Keep it to one or two points, or the internet will be full...

Learning Icelandic...

2007-01-22T22:51:00.000Z

I've made the decision to learn this bloody ridiculous language, once and for all. It will not beat me... Yes, following on from one previous failed attempt, back in 2004, Kelso, although suffering from a severe case of Lazyenglishbastarditisis, is now determined to start communicating in Icelandic.

The first class was last week. Your man was surprisingly nervous in the hours leading up to the lesson, in part due to fact that he had been signed up for an intermediate class. 'Will i be good enough?', was a phrase that kept tormenting me.
The nice lady in the school's office asked me a few questions in Icelandic, two of which i answered very wrongly. Yet, she congratulated me on my pronunciation of the word 'pizza'; 'Flott, David. Very Icelandic...'
'Oh dear', thought our budding linguist, 'this could be a long course'.

But, as for so much in life, these doubts proved groundless, eventually... I arrived for the first lesson, fashionably early, only to find the room packed. A cacophony of various languages filled the air, english being definitely in the minority.

As things settled down, it soon became clear that this was actually classes 2 and 3 combined. The teachers had got everyone together to sort 'the wheat from the chaff'. Luckily, Kelso managed to shine through as very chaffy indeed, so remains in class 2. Phew; some of those guys seemed to know more Icelandic than the teachers.

In that first lesson, i made a mistake that i am determined not to repeat. I sat, unknowingly, in the Polish quarter. Now, i normally have no problem being close to these fine people. But, i find that trying to decipher one, highly complex, heavily grammatical language is enough. Being surrounded by a quartet of Poles, all chattering away in another, equally bamboozling tongue, was just too much for me. It became apparent that one of the four had a pretty good level of Icelandic. The others didn't. So, in a fine example of teamwork, this fine Baltic lad was translating most of the teacher's words for his less able countrymen. Great for them. Nightmare for Kelso...

For lesson 2, i was sitting next to a Frenchman... But its not how you think!! Oh no, this is great. It is a guy i know from the summer; a barman from the hotel in Skaftafell, south Iceland. A fine lad. It is always important to know barmen. Even if they are French... Yes, this is going to be fun.

Do any of my fellow linguists out there have any advice for me, or just any ridiculous anecdotes to share? Drop by again sometime soon, to find out how Kelso's studies continue. An introduction to Icelandic is available at University of Iceland...

Signpost of the Week, No.2...

2007-01-17T02:20:00.001Z

If all else fails, you have to take the Law in to your own hands.

Ah, Iceland. This is such a wonderful country. On the one hand, it has one of the highest computer literacy rates on the planet, one of the world's best educated populations and a highly developed democratic system and legal framework. Yet, on the other hand, most people still believe in elves, dwarves, trolls and ghosts, Paganism is on the increase and stories like the following one continue to make the news...

I know. This does look like a cow's head on a pole. Thats because it is. Fantastic, eh? Brief synopsis as follows:

Two farmers in the far northwest fjords (another, marvellous world...). One accuses the other of running over his dog, which eventually dies from his wounds. Farmer denies the accusation. Aggrieved farmer attempts a prosecution through legal system (that same, aforementioned, highly developed legal framework...). Fails.

So, does this farmer give up? Oh no. He calls upon 'the Guardian Spirits of Iceland' for assistance. Well, why wouldn't you? Oh yes, on December 9 last year, this fine lad erected the 'Nidstong', or 'Pole of Shame'. He then issued the following Ancient Insult;

'I curse the scoundrel and i call upon the guardian spirits of Iceland to drive him from the country, or leave him dead. May he go to Hell'. Strong words. And then, on December 20th, one of the craziest storms in decades hit that region. Our fine crusader for justice cried out;

'The message has been received by it's target. The Guardian Spirits of Iceland have been roused from their slumber...!' Bugger me, i would have been shitting myself. He removed the pole on December 22nd, the winter solstice. Yet, the curse remains active...

Now, this case wasn't treated as a joke by your average Icelander, as far as i could tell. Oh no, he did the right thing... More power to him, is what i say. I love all this ancient stuff. And i'm sure he feels much better for for invoking the spirits of the land to avenge his loss. I mean, many people are failed by the legal system of their own country. What they should do instead, is role out one of these pagan rituals. Job done.

Snowy-Fishy-Pie...

2007-01-11T23:23:00.001Z

A slightly different feel to the old the blog today. First, as you may notice, ITS SNOWING!!!!! I just ran outside and took these shots. Yes, Kelso is a child once more. At last, the Icelandic Weather Gods have got their acts together and seem to be allowing us a fine dump of the white stuff. Fan-bloody-tastic is what it is. Should be fun tomorrow.

And thanks to the very helpful Icelandic girl who slowed down her car just to shout 'YOU SHOULD TURN THE FLASH OFF!'. She obviously didn't recognise an artiste at work. Or it may have been the flash bouncing off my baldy-head nearly made her crash...

Secondly, my Blog today, appears to be a recipe site. Curiouser and curiouser... My Blogging Guru, Annie (sorry dear, i mean 'Blonking' ((i'll explain later))) invited me round for dinner last night. Now, this is my ex-flatmate we're talking about here, which means that she wants me to come round and cook her something tasty. I did manage to teach her to cook an omlette, and she has branched out into a very fine salmon dish. But, generally, she's pretty crap in the kitchen. She does have a liking for sardines in tomato sauce though. You can read her blonk to find more about that...

Anyway, she has requested my recipe for the Fishy-Potatoey-Pie i cobbled together. A fine old winter-warmer. So, without further adoo, here it is...

Fishy-Potatoey-Pie:

- Put on to boil equal amounts of potatoes + sweet
potato, and a few carrots - enough to fill you, and whoever else is eating, to the eyeballs.

meanwhile...

- Chop fine, a quarter of a leek, some garlic (loads...), large
onion, maybe some ginger if you wish - all lovely. Fry for couple mins in olive oil

- To the onion/leek/garlic, add about 500-750g (pound-pound and half / of whole fresh cod or haddock fillet. Continue frying gently. Add pepper and salt to taste (loads, but make sure its good quality salt and fresh cracked pepper!!)

- Keep stirring the fish fry - you need to mix it all up in the end anyway, so no worries about breaking fish up

meanwhile, put grill on...

- Mash potato etc lightly, with a generous knob of butter and milk (or cream...), plus some chopped fresh parsley or thyme if you have. Its good to be generous with the milk/cream as it will keep the dish moist (ooh-err missus)

- add a handfull of chopped parsely/thyme to the fish for last few mins of frying, if you wish

- When fish is ready (won't take long, maybe 10 mins, just taste it, only needs to be just ready), combine with the potato mash. Just fold it in, don't mash it all up fine. Put in a suitable Pirex dish (anything oven-proof), cover with a little grated cheese (to taste...) and brown uder the grill.

Enjoy!!!

Signpost of the Week...

2007-01-09T00:20:00.000Z

This was a wonderful New Year surprise for me. Little explanation is needed. This is a real streetsign, to be found outside Hamborgar Bullan, in the old docks area of Reykjavík. Marvelous.

The Mother provided me with another email-spelling-related chuckle today: ''Dad told me not to spend money on a card for him just dig out last years, which I still have of course. By the way the correct spelling of the word above ends in 'ocks' not 'icks'. xxx''

How did you turn out so normal, dear Kelso? One answer to this question ends in 'ocks' not 'icks'... Indeed.

Reflections...

2007-01-04T20:53:00.002Z

Where has Kelso been all this time? Back in jolly old England of course. But now he's back in the Frozen North. Ok, so it's not frozen now, but rainy-windy-stormy... Lovely. Here's what i wrote earlier.

Ah, the wonders of mobile communications. Here i am, typing on a laptop at 10,000-odd meters, flying over northern England; a notion that would have certainly tested my dear old grandad's powers of comprehension.

In common with most of the western world, i have started this new year in somewhat reflective mood. I'm not usually one for New Year's resolutions. There is no point. I know i'll not stick to them; the pressure is just too great. Besides that, there's nothing to change about me; i mean, 'if it 'ain't broke, then why fix it?' (Can i hear distant cries of 'Yeah, whatever Kelso...' over my headphones?).

I'll just interrupt my rambling for a mo., as we are now flying over the the Scottish highlands. Snow-covered mountains are visible through the clouds. Wow, i just love the north!! Every time i travel to Iceland, i get this wonderful feeling of excitement, anticipation, wonder. I am a kid again. The farther north you travel, the weather becomes crazier, the people are warmer, the landscape wilder, purer. Life is simpler.

Sorry, i'll get back to the subject. Yes, Kelso's been thinking again. Dangerous. But it has to be done. Christmas has come and gone. It really is a time for children. I don't have any [kids], therefore, the magic really isn't there for me anymore. Especially since the death of the (afforementioned) grandpa Hollins. He was the glue that bound the family at Yuletime. I truly miss that big, old, pisstaking git.

Following his passing, everything to do with family at xmas seemed complicated. The wider family fragmented. For me, its now just the mother, Stan-the-Man and the brother. But this is cool. I mean, it is the only time we ever get together and eat till we burst, reverting to the roles that we've always played. I am a child again. A large, hairy child, with a whole weight of life experience piled precariously on top. Yet this all seems to vanish when sat at that table. I truly love those people. Thanks, You three.

We start our descent to Reykjavík soon. The clouds thicken as we approach that crazy island. Yes, it's gonna be stormy, as usual. Love it! Woah - turbulence...

That dinner table is the place where i face those terrible life-questions from the Big Stanley. 'So, what are you doing for work now then?' , is a favourite. Whatever i say is never gonna be the right answer. 'I hope you are earning plenty up there?' , is another cracker. I just don't see life in the same way as my parents. I spent years desperately trying to fit in with the 'Rat-race'. In the end, i went a tad loopy and ended up ducking out completely. But, Stanley is right to pressure me. He knows i'm crap with money. He also knows that, like it or not in our society, money is necessary to get by.

Oh dear, this plane is all over the place...

So, for you, father, i promise to do something useful with myself from now on. I don't promise to do this with financial success in mind, but i believe that as long as i'm busy doing something i truly enjoy, all will be good. This isn't a resolution, strictly. Or is it? Sod it. Who cares?

Okay then Kelso, what needs to be changed? Well now, that would be telling. And why put yourself under that sort of pressure? Stay tuned and, hopefully, you will find out the answer to this searching question. Basically, Kelso needs to take more control of his life; personally and professionally.

I think i'm gonna vomit... Laptop away. Happy New Year. More soon...

'We are all individuals...'

2006-12-21T17:14:00.000Z

Before i get going, i would just like to thank my mother. She sent the following email feedback for my last blog: Have read your website, very interesting - well done. I noticed a few small spelling mistakes. Corrections as follows: witty, tasty, immediately... Well Mrs K, i'll do my best, but spelling was never my strong point.

Today's photo. Taken from the 5th floor of the city library. Yes, nothing escapes the Christmas lights in Reykjavík. Not even the fishing boats...

I don't HAVE to shave. It's a simple, wonderful fact. People up here, in The Frozen North don't give a toss if you are clean-shaven or have that rugged, just come down from the mountains look. Ok, so i mean unkempt... Living up here is so much less stressful than life in the lower latitudes. This was a conclusion i reached along with Annie, my erstwhile flatmate and fellow simple-life-fan (there you go dear, i linked you!!).

People often ask me Why live in Iceland? A fair question. So then Kelso, why do you live on this lump of storm-ravaged, volcanic rock, stuck in the middle of the north atlantic, approx. 1000km NW of Scotland (just in case any of you reading this are completely geographically challenged...)? I mean, are you not currently living in a guesthouse, with toilet-only internet access?

Well, yes, this is mostly correct. I am indeed living in a guesthouse. But it is a cracking place, right in the centre of town. I'm staying there for a few weeks until a friend's place becomes available. I was kipping on floors and sofas for a couple of weeks after my arrival from my autumn's guiding in Peru and southeast Asia, and didn't want to impose anymore. For some reason, i can't get wireless internet access in my room and the nearest access is in the bathroom next door; handy for some speedy porn surfing, but not so great for more general internet activities. I did lie in the bath surfing for an hour yesterday though - marvelous! Internet access can be had at any of the city's myriad cafes. Coffee is an Icelandic passion, so their cafes tend to be of a suitably high standard. Perfect for coffee-addicted, surfing bums such as myself.

Well well well. We seem to have made a good start to this one already. In most cultures, there is so much more pressure to act in a certain way, dress in certain styles, be someone you really are not. Yes, okay, many Icelanders do put a lot of effort into their appearance. In Reykjavík, 'urban chic' is definitely 'In'. This generally means that the trendy ones wear anything they like, as long as its black. Tourists usually stick out like a sore thumb, dressed in their luminous Goretex raingear and hiking boots. They [the tourists] are only being sensible of course. It is generally wet and windy up here (like yesterday, today and tomorrow, no doubt...) One can only sympathise with anyone visiting from southern Europe - Italians and Spaniards can sometimes be spotted downtown in the summer, quietly sobbing, after being solidly weather-beaten for a few days. Many Reykjavíkians, on the other hand, generally ignore the elements. This is helped greatly by the fact that most of them drive absolutely everywhere, but this subject is another that will have to wait for another time.

I seem to have digressed somewhat. As usual. But this is all beside the point. On a typical night out in Reykjavík, you will see groups of revellers with members dressed in a range of styles, from full suits to ripped jeans and woolly jumpers (the traditional Icelandic 'lopapeysa'). Nice.

The Class System must have something to do with it. Or the lack of one. Until recently that is. Money is now the new Class, one of the many unfortunate bye-products of the country's rapid Americanisation. However, when you spend a bit of time here, you get the chance to observe Icelanders in their natural habitats (hang on, i'm starting to sound like David Attenborough...). Often, in a work situation, i've found it difficult to tell who is the boss. All Icelanders seem to have their own opinions and express them very strongly. It matters not if they happen to be arguing with the cleaner or the Prime Minister. People seem to genuinely appreciate hard workers here, no matter what you do for a living. I guess that this is due mainly to the fact that Iceland's new-found prosperity is deeply rooted in the fish industry. And most families are still closely linked with their farming relatives, living in, often isolated, settlements all round the country, working their nuts off in all weathers (one day, i too shall live on one of these farms in the middle of nowhere, oh yes...).

One of the main reasons i live up here, therefore, relates to the lack of pressure i feel from the people, my friends. This may be due in some part to my being a foreigner; i can get away with being 'odd', maybe. Well, no, not really, because there seem to be plenty of 'odd' Icelanders. And they get along just fine.

At the weekend, i witnessed a fine example of this 'celebration of oddness' at a concert. There were four Icelandic bands, all rather different in style. But each would have been classed as rather 'odd' in many other western societies. A favourite image is shown, of the band 'Hjaltalín'; how many times do you see the 'Flying Vee' (or 'Wee' as they would say up here) and the bassoon on the same stage? Not often enough, i say! My other favourite was a tall, gangly guy wearing what can only be described as a 'christmas jumper' - a cracking red and black number - he appeared with 'Skakkamanage' singing backing vocals and generally buffooning around. Bloody marvellous i say. The headline act was 'Benni Hemm Hemm', featuring the conventional guitars, keyboards and vocals - but also a very unconventional brass section, including 3 trombones and few trumpets... And these guys are one of the biggest emerging bands up here. How very, very Icelandic.

By the way, the music was, not surprisingly, a real ecclectic mix; i loved much of it, but a lot of Benni Hemm Hemm, was too 'brassy', funnily enough... They only perked up when christmas-jumper-backing-vocals-guy joined them on stage for a number. Genius. Thanks Harpa for taking me.

Iceland is a cool, cultured, yet uncomplicated place to live. It is one of the most expensive countries in the world, yes. Not ideal. But it is clean, relatively crime-free (but that is changing - also subject of future blog) and, therefore, pretty safe. And it has volcanoes. Bloody loads of them. Unfortunately, none of them are erupting at present. That is another reason i'm here. When the next one goes off, i'll be there - well, as close as i can get without cooking. And then there are the glaciers...

Those of you that know me well, will know about my penchant for the great outdoors. And Iceland has more great, deserted, unspoiled wilderness than anywhere else i know. Although, true to form for any society, the Icelandic government and business leaders seem bent on fucking this up. More about this in the future.
Right, that'll do for now. You've had your quota of north Atlantic lifestyle info. for this blog. This was far too-long-a-blog i know. But it is holiday time, and i'm new to this, so there. I'm off to the bathroom - to post this of course, not for any smutty purpose...

And certainly not to shave.

Winter is here...

2006-12-14T22:47:00.000Z

I took a walk across Tjörnin today (the pond downtown) and took this photo at noon. Yes, the sun is low in the sky...
I've been out and about with my camera. It may appear that i'm just being lazy, posting pics instead of writing something whitty and interesting. Well, i've already admitted my lazy tendancies...
Winter has been a resident of Rekjavík for quite a while now (unusual in this time of global warming - a definite subject for future blogs...). When i say 'winter', i mean proper, bloody cold, stable alpine conditions. Most non-Icelandics assume that Iceland is gripped in some sort of IceAge every winter. Alas, this is not true. The average Reykjavík temperature in winter is only about -1C, basically due to the Gulf Stream. So i just love cold snaps like this one, rather than the ever-changing low pressure systems which crash into this island from the Atlantic on a regular basis, bringing high winds, rain, snow and sleet, interspersed with some sunshine and light winds. And it changes about every 20 minutes. I do actually love it; keeps you on your toes. But if its mostly cloudy all day for days on end, the darkness is exagerated, which can drag you down.
Anyway, back to the pics...
Yes, Christmas has definitely hit Reykjavík. I snapped this shot of 2 reasonably drunk santas last night, in the centre of downtown. Fair play, they were bloody funny. They were running into cafes shouting at customers; 'Christmassy things', so my friend, Baldur, assured me. I must explain here that my understanding of the local lingo is still pretty diabolical, despite being resident here for quite some time. This, i blame entirely on the fact that Icelanders generally speak english much better than i do. It has nothing whatsoever to do with my (already afformentioned several times) chronic laziness. Not at all... The Icelandic language will also be a feature of future posts, i am sure.

Where was i? Right, so there i was, wandering through Gamlikirkjugarðurinn (The Old Graveyard), when i snapped this photo. No Photoshop used here; the sun selectively illuminated the graves. Strange... This is one of my favourite places in town. Time stands still here. Well, for most of its residents, this is of course, a given. What i refer to though is the ambiance, the feel of the place. For a start, there are loads of lovely, large, old trees; unusual in this land. Secondly, the cemetery is a living (sorry, i suppose i mean 'dead'?!) guide to the great and good of Icelandic society from the past 2 centuries.
At the entrance to the cemetary, i managed to slip on some ice, hitting the deck like a sack of shit. Basically, i paid the price for for trying to eat a Pecan Danish (Vínabrauð - bloody tastey!) and sort my headphones simultaneously. Ice is everywhere now, mostly covered with a thin layer of snow. Nice. Of course, i got up imediately and walked off as if nothing had happened, glancing round to check if i'd been noticed. Once in the cemetery, i complained to myself, just a tad, about the bruising and cuts. No major damage though. A wakeup call to be more careful.
How did that happen? I wasn't going to write much today... Oh well. It's happened now.
Yes, winter is here to stay, for at least another day or two. Now, where did i put those crampons...?

What's it all about...?

2006-12-10T21:45:00.000Z

This is the start of something. Everything. I blame Annie, my old (and now once again, temporary) flatmate for everything. She is my inspiration for this venture. We are Two Brits adrift in the north atlantic, washed up on the shores of Reykjavík, Iceland.

She is Welsh, but i have forgiven her for that.

This land is incredible - wild, empty mountains, mad, unpredictable weather and home to some of the kindest, craziest people on the planet. You really notice the seasons change. Currently, everyone is hibernating. The darkness is closing in by the day, consuming the precious daylight until just a few hours remain to grab our precious fix.

Why haven't i written a blog before? Well, until recently, i wasn't really living in the digital age. I hadn't owned a laptop for 5 years, i was shooting slide film (still a marvellous photo medium) and listening to sounds on a knackered minidisc player. And hasn't the boy turned things around!!? He now owns a cracking, second hand Thinkpad, a Canon Powershot S80 and an ipod nano. Kelso has been catapulted into the 21st century. What this will lead to? I haven't got a Scooby. Should be interesting though...

So i now sit in a Reykjavik cafe. I've spent the last few hours sorting through photos. I can, and do, spend days lost in film (sorry, i mean 'pixels'). Photography has long been a passion. It is one of the main reasons i came to iceland in the first place. I'll post loads of pics when i work out how to. Shouldn't be long. I hope.

What is the point of writing this blog then, dear Kelso? Good bloody question. Several reasons:
- Loads to say; to get off my chest, maybe.
- Love writing, but am generally very lazy, so this will give me focus. I need that.
- Iceland is a fascinating place to live, or to visit. I want to share some of this with whoever is interested.
- Despite my love of the wild, empty places on this planet, i am really quite a sociable old bugger. Weird and wonderful contacts await, me thinks.
- It is said that everyone has a book inside them. This will have to be my book, due to my afforementioned laziness.
- Genuine curiosity. Where can this lead, this blogging thing? Lets find out shall we...

Now, despite the efforts of the English education system, my brain still tends to function in a rather random, unstructured fashion. I think that's one of the reasons i tend to get on in this country. People up here tend to act much more impulsively than in other parts of the (so called) civilised world. Marvellous i say! Planning is not usually part of the national character. Things move fast up here. Its exciting. Anyway, I'll expand on this in future episodes.

What i'm trying to explain is that my thought patterns tend to lead all over the place. Please bear with this. I do come back to the original point eventually. Most of the time.

Just spent the last hour of my life in 3 separate msn chats. Whats all that about?
Exhausted.
More soon. Sjáumst.